Hey y’all, I have been wanting to post this for some time but it’s really personal but I finally decided that I would share. If you’re new here I’ll give you a little bit of a background. Here at Us + Three includes myself (mom), Sam (Dad), Cami (daughter), Sammy (son), Kai (son). In the year of 2018 our son Kai was born and you can read about his journey HERE. He was born on March 1, 2018 via c section and
I did get to see him for a few seconds before he was whisked off to the NICU. When we started this journey we had no idea all it entailed. All we knew was that we would be leaving the hospital without our baby.
Kai ended up spending 7 months and 1 day in the hospital before he got to come home. We prepared for the NICU as best we could but I don’t think anyone can “Prepare” for the NICU. What I can say is now that we are home I have more time to really think about the time we spent in the NICU. I reflect on our journey a lot because it seems so surreal that it really happened. I keep wondering how did it really happen? Having a baby and then not bringing him home for 7 months! Lately I have been pondering on it as Kai is about to turn one year old. Time has flown by and it makes me really sad but really happy at the same time. Kai is supposed to be our last baby, and it makes me sad. While I am so happy he is home and thriving I get sad sometimes because I missed a lot of things with him as far as a motherly bonding experience. The first time I held him I had to be assisted because he had wires and tubes. I never got to breastfeed him, which was a big thing for me. Having people always watching how you care for your child and constantly marking down when you did go see them. Going to the hospital and always seeing moms and newborn babies making their way to the exits always got to me. Having to always ask when I could hold him because of all the wires and tubes. Now please don’t take this as I’m not grateful that he is here at home now and thriving. I know that my baby is here and he’s doing amazing. I just think it has been really a heavy weighing thoughts on my mind. I think after having been through the NICU experience I think there is always some kind of stress from it. My intentions for this post was just to be open with you all. Everyone has a different experience not one story is the same. I want people to know that just because your story is different from others that there isn’t a reason to make your feelings feel invalid. Talk about it to your spouse or parent or even a professional.
Thanks for stopping by here today and letting me share my feelings. Most recent photo of our Kai because he is a cutie!! You can follow Kai on facebook HERE.